Life in a Jewish Japanese American family
When you create a multi-cultural family through the marriage of two people from very different heritages, you get to choose what kind of life to give your children. Do you choose one spouse's culture, or both, or none or something completely different?
We choose both and we thought we coined the term Jewpanese (not!). Our kids were very busy. They attended Japanese school on Saturdays and Jewish school on Sundays. They are members of a very small set of people who answer "yes" to both questions: "Are you Japanese?" and "Are you Jewish?". That didn't just happen. It took work and commitment. It took negotiation, deciding what's in and what's out, and choosing to be together over all else. We wouldn't have it any other way and it creates amazing and unique opportunities.
I do my best to support Yuriko passing on her ethnic identity to our kids. To be fair, I'm fascinated by all things Japanese, so it was no burden. Yuriko was very active in the Japanese Saturday school at Bellevue Children's Academy (http://www.bcacademy.com). She started programs to teach the kids Japanese school-kid games. She's initiated the school's Aki-Matsuri and ran it for three years. She also started the school's Undokai which has also repeated for a number of years. This programs lasted for years after our kids moved on to the Overlake School (https://www.overlake.org/) for high school.
Our kids speak Japanese pretty well and are still learning the language. It's tough passing on a language to kids in the US when both parents also speak English. Both kids studied Japanese at home, at BCA, as a second language at Overlake and then again at their colleges. I continued my Japanese studies throughout so the whole family could speak together in our sometimes secret language. Yuriko's parents stayed with us for months while they were able. Yuriko's mom and dad didn't speak English, so being able to speak in Japanese enabled them to communicate with the cook. How's that for motivation? They also spent a month during two consecutive summers living in Japan with Yuriko's parents during their elementary school years, speaking Japanese, playing with the neighborhood kids in Japanese, going shopping. I think the two of them flying together on the plane for nine/ten hours was a huge bonding experience for them.
Our kids speak Japanese pretty well and are still learning the language. It's tough passing on a language to kids in the US when both parents also speak English. Both kids studied Japanese at home, at BCA, as a second language at Overlake and then again at their colleges. I continued my Japanese studies throughout so the whole family could speak together in our sometimes secret language. Yuriko's parents stayed with us for months while they were able. Yuriko's mom and dad didn't speak English, so being able to speak in Japanese enabled them to communicate with the cook. How's that for motivation? They also spent a month during two consecutive summers living in Japan with Yuriko's parents during their elementary school years, speaking Japanese, playing with the neighborhood kids in Japanese, going shopping. I think the two of them flying together on the plane for nine/ten hours was a huge bonding experience for them.
We're members of Temple B'nai Torah (http://www.templebnaitorah.org, aka TBT) in Bellevue, Washington. Although I was raised conservative, once Yuriko decided not to convert, I found a reform synagogue to join. I sing in the Temple choir and Yuriko has learned many of the prayers. Since by my Jewish tradition (conservative vs reform), our kids would not be Jewish by birth, both of them were converted by a Bet Din and immersed in a Mikvah as an infant for Kinori and toddler for Rina. Both kids have attended Sunday school at TBT for the normal reformed Jewish education since Kindergarten. Kinori had his bar mitzvah in September 2008 and Rina had her bat mitzvah on May 1, 2010. Although they could read Hebrew sufficiently to pray, which is about all that's expected of American Jews, I think they honestly didn't retain it. The entire family was blessed to take a trip with my mom, Gina, to visit her childhood home in Nahariya, Israel. We toured the entire country and it gave the kids a renewed sense of being Jewish. When I look at my kids today, I think the biggest thing they retained from their Jewish heritage is an intense pride in their Rosnow and Einstein family backgrounds from my dad and mom, respectively. They have not, however, incorporated practicing Judaism into their adult lives.
How could we blend these vastly different religions, cultures, languages, cuisines? Don't Japanese and Jewish cultures conflict? You bet they do. Is there such a thing as Kosher Sushi? How can Shinto, Buddhism and Judaism all co-exist? How about their view of G-d? How about the role of the individual vs. the group? What could be more different than the Japanese and Hebrew languages? Which of these people are actually the chosen people? Are there any ways in which these diverse cultures meet? How can there possibly be a Facebook group called Jewpanese.
If life exists as a dynamic equilibrium between extremes, then where the Japanese and Jewish cultures meet is an amazing place to hang out!
How could we blend these vastly different religions, cultures, languages, cuisines? Don't Japanese and Jewish cultures conflict? You bet they do. Is there such a thing as Kosher Sushi? How can Shinto, Buddhism and Judaism all co-exist? How about their view of G-d? How about the role of the individual vs. the group? What could be more different than the Japanese and Hebrew languages? Which of these people are actually the chosen people? Are there any ways in which these diverse cultures meet? How can there possibly be a Facebook group called Jewpanese.
If life exists as a dynamic equilibrium between extremes, then where the Japanese and Jewish cultures meet is an amazing place to hang out!
Future topics:
- Blending Judaism and Japan - Picking and Choosing
- Zen and Judaism and Martin Buber
- Where do I belong? (Passover in Tokyo)
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